The first boy I remember holding hands with was Steve Seymour. I thought he was cute in Elementary School. We held hands while we were watching a movie in Mrs. McCarthy’s 4th grade class. I don’t remember the movie, only holding Steve’s hand. We weren’t boyfriend or girlfriend and there was never anything more.
My first official boyfriend, where he asked me to be his boyfriend was Rob Bernard. I was 12 years old and he was 11. It lasted a whole week. There were no dates, just phone calls and seeing each other at church. I still thought he was cute but at 12 years old there just isn’t any point to having a boyfriend. We remained friends and continued to see each other in church. I admitted to Ana the other day that Rob was my first kiss at 14. Rob said “I bet you wouldn’t know what to do if someone kissed you.” I of course had to prove him wrong; after all I was older than him. As a parent now, not the greatest thing to tell your kids “I did it on a dare”. It’s why I wish that kids would learn from their parent’s mistakes and not repeat them (my disclaimer!). We weren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend; I just thought he was cute and we were friends.
My first official date was with Kyle Lynch when I was 16. He was one of my best buds through high school. We went to the movies at the Showcase Cinemas. We did this a lot through high school. There was nothing romantic about it just truly good friends going out. He eventually started dating my best friend Faith; then we went on double dates or I was the third wheel.
I didn’t really have a steady boyfriend until I was a Junior in High School. I went to my Junior Prom with Mike Underdown and he asked me out after the prom. We dated for a couple of months. He was a cutie pie wrestler who lived in the Foster/Glauster area. A mother’s dream! My mom had nothing to worry about as far as teenagers getting into trouble. He lived 45 minutes away and we didn’t see each other often, it’s why it lasted only a few months. I dated a guy named Pat Mellow later that summer. My friend Traci Hendricks introduced us. She introduced me to a few guys over the years. I had crushes on a few people but they were just that crushes: Brian Weaver, Ted Perry, Ray Falconer and Jim Wendleshafer were ones from my school. They were nice guys and I don’t think they even knew I had crushes on them. Brian may know now as we are friends on Facebook. I never dated anyone from my school; I tried to date guys from church. Rob Bernard, Augie Lehman and Rene Barraza were guys I had crushes on from church activities. Yes, Rene and I met in high school when I was 16. We were dating other people at the time we met and our first date was my 21st birthday. I dated Rob off and on through high school, not as a steady boyfriend - just dating. I will have to admit that Rob was my first love. I don’t believe his feelings were quite the same at that time. His was the name I doodled on my books at school. I also doodled Bon Jovi and we all know that never happened! I did ask Rob to my Senior Prom because he went to another school.
When I was 18 I met Steve Ayer on a Youth Conference trip. That relationship got serious. I was planning on going to BYU and he wanted me to stay and go to UCONN so we could get married. I had a Patriarch tell me; “choose wisely whom you date” during the time I was trying to make the decision between UCONN and BYU. I chose BYU and Steve and I broke up. I am very grateful for answers to prayers and listening to them.
I dated several people during college. Darren Davis was OHHHH so cute. We were talking marriage as well. We even went looking at Suburbans (still one of my favorite cars). I think I was more in love with the idea of being married than in love with Darren. We never got married, I was only 19 at the time we dated. I also dated Julien Goulet when I was around 19 years old. Jules is a good man. He had dated one of my friends when we were in high school. He came to BYU to visit me and a relationship came from that. However, it never worked out. There are some people that you are friends with and you think it would make sense to have a relationship with. Sometimes, you realize that you are just better friends. That’s what Jules and I are; friends.
I moved to Boston when I was 20 to work there for a while. In the meantime I had set Rene and my sister up and they had dated. They didn’t date long and during that time Rene and I became better friends. He came to Boston to visit and our friendship developed into more. In fact, our first date was my 21st birthday. He picked me up from the Providence bus station and took me to my first over 21 club – Challengers in Warwick near the airport. I eventually moved back to RI and we started dating. We were married for 11 years and had five children together.
I didn’t date for over a year after the divorce. Larry Fronce was a Kansas Firefighter I went on several dates with. He took me to my first fishing tournament and I actually had a really great time. He also brought me to a fish hatchery which I had never been too as well. He was someone that helped me realize that I did want to marry again. I thought when I got divorced that I would be single forever; “who would want to take on a woman with five kids?” He helped me to realize that I was worth being with, even with five kids. During this time I was driving a van which was quickly approaching 200,000 miles. I was in contact with Rob during that time as well. I eventually went to Idaho with tax return in hand and purchased a van from Rob. Why go to Idaho from Kansas to buy a car? When you have a friend who works at a dealership, you buy a car from someone you know won’t rip you off and will make sure you’re not getting a lemon. On my drive back to Kansas from Idaho I kept getting the prompting that I needed to move to Idaho. I drove back to Idaho a month later with the kids in tow for spring break. I needed the kids to be a part of the decision. I gave them the choice of Salt Lake (where my brother lives) or Pocatello or Idaho Falls (I have friends in both towns). The kids chose Pocatello. So here we are.
I didn’t date much when I first got to Pocatello; however, that changed. I did date Rob for a bit when I moved here. Another of the men was Todd and we dated for a month or so, he helped me to find my love for motorcycles. The very first date we were doing wheelies down Alameda; I have to admit that I had my eyes closed once the front tire left the ground. The adrenaline rush was awesome! I met a few cowboys here in Idaho. I have to say the best one was the one I married. When I met Jeff we were working only a block away from each other. I was working for Rob at the time. Had it not been for Rob I am not sure I would have moved to Idaho when I did. Keli and I were talking about this last night and we found it funny that had it not been for my first love, I never would have met my very last and greatest love - my husband.
So there it is; the Reader’s Digest version of 20 years of my dating history. It may not be that exciting to anyone else but the men that I have dated have helped me to appreciate the great man that I found with my husband. Each one of those men has blessed my life and I am grateful to each one of them.
Steve Ayer at 18 years old.
Rene at about 20 years old. This is the suit he was wearing when I met him. I was also wearing a grey double breasted suit (with a skirt) the day we met at the Narragansett Ward. He was there with Lara Chilvers to watch General Conference.
This is Rob and I a week or so before he left for his mission to England. He was 19 so I was 20.
This is Jules and I. We were both around 19 years old.
Mike Underdown and I at my Junior Prom. I was 16 years old.
The greatest love of my life and the last boyfriend I will ever have - Jeff and I at our wedding in 2005!
